I am want to tell you a story,, about how I reclaimed my power and healed from my childhood sexual abuse and satanic ritual abuse, using BDSM as one of the many tools on my healing journey. I know you might be saying to yourself What ! No Way!
I am telling you the truth! I would never have believed it to be possible had I not experienced it first hand. It is not just me but I have watched 100s of my clients experience profound healing by learning how to let go of control.
Growing up surrounding by monsters and preditors I learnt very young and quickly if I was going to survive I was going to have to become a Super Control Freak and learnt how to control everyone and everything around me. I was sooooo good at it and it made me feel like I was safe.. Which turns out to be a lie no matter how much of a control freak you are, People and life don't always want to fall in line with your master plan for safety and security… So all it takes is one moment of life,people and universe to fuck with you master plan and you are screwed (not in the fun and happy way). You may respond to feeling out of control and unsafe in many different ways:
Eating- Over eating or not eating
Addictions to food,sex,drugs,boozes,sugar and work
Increased panic and anxiety
Anger lashing out at others
Deep sad and low energy
Try to become a bigger,stronger and even meaner control freak to take your control back
Once a upon a time over 10 years ago I was having wild sex with my ex husband(not the reason why he is my ex..lol) and we were in the beginning stages of exploring BDSM and kinky sex when I experience Sub-Space ( Sub-Space is a state where the mind,body and spirit experience calm,zen and quiet, that is similar to a meditation trance state) this was the first time that my mind was quiet and all of me was still. I felt for the first time in my life safe, still and inner peace that I had only heard and dreamed about. This was the first time I allowed myself to trust someone else and allow them to make sure I was safe and taken care of and I felt it in my soul and every cell of my body. Now that I knew what safety felt like I could start to recreate it in other areas of my life using many different modalities to experience safety and inner peace and quiet not just through BDSM.
I have now become the safe space and person to help other experience that safe sub space so they too can reclaim their power and safety.
The second powerful way BDSM has helped me and many others is to take back sexual activity and words that were used to abuse and do emotional, physical and psychological long term harm. You can reclaim some of those activities and find great sexual gratification and enjoyment when you consciously decide to reclaiming them. This can be very tricky because it is a very fine line between victimization and sexual empowerment. That is why it is important that you find a professional that can teach you the difference and teach you how to pick the right person to explore this type of healing and reclaiming BDSM play. Also the BDSM wellness specialist can help you directly to reclaim and heal those sexual activities and words. You would never go skydiving without an instructor so please make sure you that you only do this with someone that knows what they are doing, so it doesn't create new wounds and reinforce old traumas.
Learn more on starting your healing journey and begin reclaiming your power